For this author, creative endeavors have been sorely tested by motherhood. But also transformed, and in ways she wouldn’t have imagined – couldn’t have, without her life “rewritten” as it has been, by her children. So linger here, to read all things weaverly, writerly and motherly.


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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Get Rich Selling Felted Hats

There are good craft shows, and bad ones.

This one today was a bad one.

Actually, maybe a notorious one. Or I'm notorious; somewhere this evening, in some elegant Hamptons restaurant,  a woman is telling her story about how she stopped in at this little craft show, tried on a woolly white shawl and it shed all over her silk black shirt:

"Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh my god," she'd chanted, and I thought she was going to go blue in the face as my son used to when he'd lapse into febrile seizures. "I have to go home. I have to go home and change."

Her dear friend, who had been trying on a less wooly shawl, tried to pacifiy her: "You're fine. You're ok. We just need some tape." She turned her freshly made-up flawless face to me: "Do you have any tape?" 

I had masking tape, by golly, and with a big wad, I went to task, picking white lint off the front of her black blouse, so wrinkle-free, it must have come straight from the cleaners or straight off an East Hamptons boutique shop rack.

In the meantime, caught up in her own panic, I lost two other customers considering similar wooly shawls. 

Nevermind. Being in the Hamptons, it was far more important that I didn't miss a single fuzzy white fuzz – though I didn't bother with her backside.

So over some candlelit dinner with similar sophisticated wrinkle-free chic friends, someone is gently asking whether some white cat hadn't taken a cat nap on her back, and she is able to launch into her wooly white shawl fuzzy story. Luckily, I don't think she'd thought to pick up a business card. I remain notorious in oblivion.

Beyond that, I didn't make much of a mark, except to a woman behind dark glasses who cooed to her little Pekingese dog about how "pretty" my scarves were. "So, pretttttty, aren't they my Peaches? I think she thinks they're pretty," she said, not turning to me, but to her dull-eyed husband who was checking his phone.

I did sell two shawls. Almost three, to ambivalent too-well dressed-wrinkle-free women who didn't know their own minds.

And I did manage to talk a little girl into blowing her mother's five dollars on one of my rope bracelets.

Truth is, I should have been selling felted hats. The fiber lady in the tent next to me was selling them as fast as fresh baked cakes at a church sale. Then her customers, with their felted-hat shopping bags would peruse my own fiber treasures, eyes glazed as they were already fully fiber satiated.

Then my tent broke:

Then it began to drizzle. Just a little.

And then I called it a day.


Garden Gate Botanicals said...


Raige Creations said...

oh man that stinks.
there is very little worse than a bad day at a show.
and then the tent broke?!?!
I would have called it a day too.
hope the rest of your weekend makes up for it.
have a great one!

Anonymous said...

Oh, man. That's what I call a rough day! I carry a lint roller in my car because I never know when I'll want to pet someone's cat or dog. Or when I'll get out into the sunlight and realize my cat has actually taken a nap in the laundry basket without my realizing it!

Mom Daughter Style said...

oh no! Better luck next time.

You make great hats and crafts.

Jayne said...

Sandra- This is such a great story. I love the idea of this fuzzy-backed woman sitting in some swank Hampton restaurant telling her story. Oh, the drama! (What did she expect? It's woolly wool!)

Trade/craft shows bring out all kinds. And often they don't really appreciate all the work you've put into it. Sending you pixie dust for many future sales! ;)

Helen Suzanne said...

oh dear!!! and what a finish to the day with the tent breaking... oops sorry I did have to giggle at the calamity. Hope you had a good soak in the tub and a suitable apperitif to mellow the evening ;)

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Your calamities always make me laugh, in a heartfelt way! What a day, for you and the woman you apparently traumatized. :)

I think I would like to people watch there.

Barbra said...

So sorry to hear of your escapades! It could have been an episode of The Real Housewives of The Hamptons and then notorious wouldn't even begin to describe it!!!

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